This is me

I am more that the tailored clothes that I put on, I’m nicer than the glasses I put on when the sun is shining bright.

I’m brilliant,  I’m smart, I’m an inquisitive being, I’m creative,  I am a fully spirited being with a heart compressed with ambition and dedication.

When people ask me to explain myself, my response is “I’m more of a Zulu artist”. I am driven by passion, emotions and feelings. “If it doesn't feel right then it is not right”, and I fall in love with whatever I do in order to bring out the best in it.

I am always positive, and believe that there is some degree of goodness and greatness in every person, therefore we need to give people a chance and that is where we will find the fun of getting to know the other person.

I’m a reader, a blogger, a motivator through written art (writing). I see a bright future ahead of me, it is so bright, I cant help it but put my glasses on. 

So, My Journey Continues...

It came a time where one chapter of my life ended and a new one began. I must say being stuck in one chapter of your life for about six months can be quiet frustrating. I would like to call it the hallelujah moment.  It was that moment when one gets hit by an unexpected full stop. I could not believe that this could be me, moving from one dramatic chapter to a more sophisticated and settled chapter.

I remember when it all started, “hello man, how are you?” and the response would be I am just looking thanks. I was trying so hard to sell a pair of shoes just to meet target, Just to impress my boss. The sad part about it all was that I had no direction; I was looking for something to brake me from that retail horror.  And the moment had finally come. The Hallelujah moment had arrived, that moment where my efforts of studying for seventeen years had come to reward me.

"I could feel it in my blood; I could smell it in the air"

A new Chapter has begun a chapter where I am the communications Science Lecture at a well-recognised private institution. On my first day I knew that I was meant to be here. I could feel it in my blood; I could smell it in the air. The time has come, and all I need to do is to prove what I can do. 

Hello New Chapter, I have arrived…

I am Alive, I am revived.

  

“What is a guy like you, with a B.Tech degree doing in retail?”

In life we are all looking for something, that thing that will make us feel complete. This thing for some people is marriage, or some its money and happiness or success and Education. While we are looking for these element to make our lives feel complete we face hardships, then we tend to forget where we are going.

The question shattered me, even though it was received through a phone call. I will not lie to you, I was not only hit by the brick of truth, I was baptised with the showers of reality. I felt like someone slid a block of ice in my shirt and it went sliding down my spine slowly as I listened to the sound of his breath on the other side of the line. I could not even defend myself; I was guilty of not having a dream, of not having the passion to move up, of not being me, the guy who was always at the top. I was sentenced by a caller. “You need to stand up and give it you 150%, somewhere out there, your dream is waiting for you” That second statement sealed it.  I had to get out of the comfort zone and start pushing and knocking at doors until an answer is given.  

Even though I was alone in that room, I felt so exposed and guilty. I had to do something, I had to dream again, I had to wake up the old me, and that was how I got revived. I am now alive, and I will never lose focus…

IT IS A PAINFUL AFFAIR

When I am home I am happy with my secret
It embraces me and keeps near

In public it confronts me
It hits me. It is hard
Outside it reminds me
It nags me
It irks me
Outside I am an outsider
Outside it reminds me
It stops me from smiling
It says, "weirdo you are not normal. You are not one of us"
It shuts me up
It gags me
It restricts me

The hateful glare of judgment keeps me glued to my secret

At home the walls don't judge
They don't have a look of disdain and disgust about them
They are silent and cold
But my secrets stays close
It spoons with me. It is warm
We have our problems
We fight
Then we remember
I'm nothing without it
 I am a freak without it
That I need to keep it
I embrace it and we make out

It is an opera, isn't it?

I need to tell you
My secret is abusive
It is intrusive
It doesn't want me to have friends
It doesn't want to leave me alone
I don't want it to leave


This poem was written by a close friend Takatso... I see the talent burning inside you, please answer the calling...

Keep going, Move with Patience

2012 I learned the Value of moving towards the light with patience. After 17 years of schooling and working, with no break in between my life came to a stand still for about 8 months. It was total darkness and I kept on believing in the light that seemed like a small shiny star at the end of the tunnel. I read as many inspirational books just to keep away from the negative questions that kept running in my mind. But then I remembered my motto in life, Move. If I had to get to the light I had to keep moving and believing that I will get to the light.

If you don’t move, then you are not going to get anywhere. I recall a time in 2011, when I asked one of my colleague at a company I was volunteering what was her motto and she said; “never get too comfortable” and when she asked me what was mine, I said MOVE! Yes, one word with just four letters.  Move, a word so small and yet it has a great impact in my life. I believe that in order to know our true potential, and know who we really are, what we can become and what we are made of, we need to move. In order for a person to move, he or she needs to be motivated.

September I came face to face with the light and I thank GOD for the blessings in my life and I still believe that more will come my way sometime in the future.  

The worst thing I ever did.

It is January 25^th, 2011. My bus arrives in the mother city and everything looks just as it is on the catalogue. It is official, I have arrived at my destination and I have 6 hours to register, check in at the newly built student residence.

Once registration was complete, I took a look at my watch and it was 15:20, there was no time to waste. I was left with 40 minutes to check-in, and I had to make it fast. With no time for taking a breath I dragged my bag across the campus, trying to keep up with time.

When I got to there I found a long line. This is where I met the Stranger whom I made a friend, later he became my best friend then turned into the enemy. He became the biggest mistake I have ever done. He was born in the Eastern Cape and grew up in the dusty streets of Strandfontein in the Western Cape. Just like everybody else he had a dream to become something, with that goal in common we stood in line and an hour later we found ourselves in front. I had received a single room since I was a post graduate student, and he shared with three others. Much later, I made the effort to make him my friend and trust him with my whole life and possessions even though I had just known him for a month, and that was the biggest mistake I ever did.

During our friendship, I would give him the keys to my room and he would do with it as he pleases, “as long as it is tidy, and nothing gets lost, I do not mind” I would usually say. He saw an opportunity and grabbed it with both hands. It started with the habit of wearing my slippers, and then he would wear my sweaters in cold or windy days. In a few weeks from then it had developed progressively, I would bump into him in campus and his whole outfit would consist of my clothes. I started to realise that he had been taking some of my possessions home with him and he would not return with them. At this stage, he had moved out of ress, he had been living at home due to Academic exclusion. I tried to get him to return my possessions but he came up with excuses every time, it is then when I realised that I had been robbed.

I blogged about the incident, thinking that he will realise that if he goes on, his reputation will be damaged and when I didn't achieve the desired results, I took it to the police and the small claims court. I finally got my things after raiding at his home with the police. As I collected my belongings, accompanied by his worst enemy, I looked at his ashamed face and the four roomed RDP house and felt some kind of shame and regret. I then took what was mine, walked out, and never looked back.