Unemployed Anonymous

Hello my name is Lawrence… and I am a 23 year old Unemployed Graduate. 

I have practically being studying all my life since kinder Garden up until last year.  In South Africa almost everybody who does not have connections is bound to land where I am, unemployed, penniless and with a room filled with Wednesday and Sunday newspapers. 

It is the first time ever in my life where I reach a moment where I do not have anything to do but look for employment.  Straight from High School I enrolled at a University of Technology with the hope that I will get both the experience and education. Well that worked quiet well if I may highlight until I got screwed by my own employer at a particular Branding solutions company where I earned as little as R1800 + commission. My salary largely depended on a commission of 12% and the very same person who will receive the remaining 88% stole my client. Therefore I packed my bags and got off the sinking titanic. 

I went back to studying so I can graduate for my diploma and make it to the B.tech Class of 2011. Fortunately with qualifying marks of 48% and 51% I managed to make it to a 60% and 63% and graduated with dignity knowing that I made it to the B.tech Class. And a year later I find myself back at home, looking for employment with an intimidating Degree.

A particular book that a friend of mine is reading Sais; “when your life falls apart, it does not all happen in one stage. It is a process” It quiet got me wondering for three months whether if that’s practically true. You first lose your clothes bit by bit, and then you lose your scholarship, leading you to be in depth with the University, and then you lose your friends one by one. You do not realise that all this is happening until you get to that moment when your phone stopped ringing as much as it used to when you were employed.

How do you react to a situation when even the people you thought that you can count on have turned their backs on you or have forgotten all about you? I suddenly felt a chill and heard that small voice saying: You are now living the life of the temporally boke, plan less and no longer so interesting somebody, until you get employed again or if you go to school and rely on the monthly allowance again! And let me say, I am far from accepting defeat.

The more I kept digging for a employment, posting my resumes to organisation, logging onto the internet and going to government department to fill in the Z83 forms and going to hopeless interviews with the hope that I will at least get an answer, the more money had to come out from my pocket. It’s true what they say, “It is a job to get a job” and that is no laughing matter.

It’s been three months and I still sit with the hope that sometime sooner or later, a door will open. And somehow God will bless me more than I expect him to.  Thank you. 

Give me an Interview...

Give me an Interview and I will show you how good I am. I believe that you will really understand and realise my value when I tell you what I have been through and what I have done.

I beg of you to go through your diary, get your secretary to give me a ring and tag me with an appointment with you for a Monday morning Interview. I promise that you will not regret the 20 minutes of listening to me selling my career to you as a campaign, and assuring you that I shall never disappoint you.

I dare you to sit on the other side of the boardroom table and open up your ears while I answer to the spears of questions you keep throwing my way.

Just give it a chance, I promise that you will not regret it. 

Phone Call from Jail...

This is by far the freakiest thing that has ever happened to me. At exactly 01:52 AM I received a miss call. Like a penniless person, I replied to the miss call with a please call me sms. Minutes later the call came in “Hello, do u know who you are talking to?” a rough and harsh voice came from the far end of the call. There seemed to be noise in the background, I figured that the caller must be at some party or something. “Who is this?” I questioned as I failed to register the voice. “I will call and explain to you later.” It was the most annoying moment of my life.

I was dreaming about the perfect office and job that I have always wanted. I must highlight that I was driving a Chevrolet Cruize in this massive dream that I so wish it becomes a reality. It was one of those existing long dreams, but I loved what came to my eyes, well what was in my mind in this case.

After a number of ticks and tocks, I woke up, went to church and came back. I prepared lunch and sat on my lovely couch and tuned on to Vuzu TV. In less than 60 seconds after the landing of my plate on the coffee table, there was a vibration. I had forgotten to save the number, I answered and engaged on minute conversation with a stranger who made me guess who he is and he then concluded that he will mms me his picture then I will remember.

A few minutes later, just when my coffee was about to get finished, the the mms reached the shores. It was a complete stranger, someone that I have never seen or heard of in my entire existence. The vibrator took off and followed by the sound and I answered on the spot. “hello” I answered and immediately painted him with questions: “Where do I know you from?” “facebook” he answered. “Ok, where are you from? Where are you now” “facebook, and I am in jail”. It was like I have just seen a ghost on a Sunday! I repeat, On a Sunday. Whathave I done?  I have accepted a random facebook invite and little do I know that I will be inviting a whole new world- a world that I never planned to exist in.

Me being me, I calmly dealt with the situation and highlighted that all the happenings are not in line with the perfect plan of my life. Be careful of who you add or accept on you social network sites.  

MR and MISS Right- Is there such a thing?

What constitutes the perfect partner? Is it the colour of their eyes, their skin or perhaps their Hair? Does looks play a big role when it comes to defining Mr or Miss perfect?

How do you define the perfect partner? Somebody who buys you material things like the gold’s, diamonds and the labelled fabrics?

Has God created the perfect someone for us and we must stay with the hope that someday, sometimes we will bump into them? Thereby creating the perfect moment that will lead us into the hands of love and live happily ever after.

Or is the perfect partner created by our compromises, less expectation, support and hope that one day he/ she will turn out to be what we had hoped to be?

My friend Nelson once said; “it takes two to make a relationship work, and one party can’t sit back and have expectations over the other. The only way to make it work is to meet each other half way and make an effort. That’s how you can tell if a partner is perfect” When I think about it, maybe Nelson had a point. Mr or Miss perfect may be that person who meets u half way and sometimes surprises you by going 70% so you can save on the 20% on the shoes you have been dying to purchase!

Too many words to say- The book

I wrote a book, and titled it "Too many words to say". The book is about how a PR practitioner became who he really is. It outlines the challenges that he faced in university. The book tells the tails of the good and bad relationships and the partying that went on. Brace yourselves, with 

chapter 1. 

  Something is wrong!

Welcome to Kgarankuwa Hospital. A whole lot of things happen here, people are born and people die in this place. Some are here to visit the sick; and others are here to finish them off. The short tempered people in blue and white are here to help ease the situation. Right in front of the main desk, is a man with a knife in his arm, his name is Bongani.  Apparently he was involved in a gang fight; it became clear when his mother and girlfriend stormed in 4 hours ago demanding assistant, but unfortunately they were welcomed with the special  hospital treatment.

 “Put this bandage around the wound, Sit down, wait in line, and the doctor will assist you as soon as possible.”

You think that is crazy; you don’t know the other half; there are worse things that happen here.  On the other ward, it’s been said that there is a ghost. The evidence is real, “oh please” one of the student nurse said until she found the trolley moving by itself 3 hours after midnight. As she ran to her room, she bumped into a sexy, fashionable lady, dressed in her graduation gown.

“Nerse!” as the Pretorians (people who originate in the townships of Pretoria and those who move in the township, and who have picked up the lingo) call them. “Sorry, can I ask?”

“Yebo buza” which means ask.

“When are graduations?”

 “I don’t know” she looked at the opposite direction and walked away feeling very Irritated. Her hair stood and there was a sudden breeze. Later when she explained her experience to her colleagues, they told her that she spoke to a ghost.  She was a student from the Medical University of South Africa (MEDUNSA- which is now known as the university of limpopo) who passed away on the day of her graduations.

As everyone runs up and down, and some waiting in line for the doctor to come along, we find two best friends sitting on the bench one  whipping blood from his nose and the other keeps the toilet paper supply going.

“What happened?” “How come it happened to both of us?”

 Punna and Themba questioned each other how can it be possible that the same tragic event happened to them in different space and time.

“When I recall of the incident, someone had helped me, but when I stood up, there was no one there. I stood up and ran to the security guards yelling for help.” Punna plotted his side of the story.

“I was in the toilet with khaya (An athlete who nearly won the title as MR tut twice), suddenly someone came in, and the next thing we were on the floor with blood all over.” Themba concluded his side of the story.

An hour later, at exactly 04:o4 Themba was assisted and later followed Punna at 04:17. This was the most unforgettable event of their lives.

 “Immediately after getting back at ress, I’m packing my bags and I am going home, something is wrong” Punna outlined his action plan. 

Back at W3 room 212, at the TUT Soshanguve South Campus, where the two best friends lived; there was not much talking when they both packed their bags heading for home. I would not blame you if you thought that they just got home, put on just about anything and headed for home. Well think again. They got to their place and the first place that they ran to was the mirror to look at themselves. The room had two beds, one on the left and the other on the right, and study tables on each side. One side was made the kitchen  and the other was the study, where the computer, radio, textbooks, and laptop was placed, and on the kitchen side you will find the basics such as pots, stove, fridge and food. the mirror was place right in the middle of the room. It was big enough both of the boys in full length.  

“Oh No, My face! Oh God, I have a blue Eye” Punna whispered. You could feel the sadness in his voice, but Themba tried to console his best friend, but pulled away when he realised that his tears are near.

“It’s not so bad Punna; you still look like a charmer, now take a bath and let’s go home”.

At the Main Gate waiting for the taxi, we find the two rearranged faces, one dressed in Gucci glasses and the other in the dark tinted Prada glasses. Their attires complemented the each other; one could swear that they are headed for the Durban July. When the taxi arrived, they both quickly got into it heading for their homes. They sat at the back seat of the taxi looking at the sunrise, as it made its way to Pretoria on the Mabopane highway, the phone rang.  It was Sanele, one of the Drama group members Themba belonged to, Punna had quit the group because of a number of circumstances. Punna picked up:

“hello”

“are the rumours true?"  it was a sharp and rather squeakily voice, It must have belonged to one of the members from the drama society. "You were touching some guy’s buts and you got beat up? Emmanuel told us! Is it true?”

“What?” Punna answered with shock and disbelief.