So, My Journey Continues...

It came a time where one chapter of my life ended and a new one began. I must say being stuck in one chapter of your life for about six months can be quiet frustrating. I would like to call it the hallelujah moment.  It was that moment when one gets hit by an unexpected full stop. I could not believe that this could be me, moving from one dramatic chapter to a more sophisticated and settled chapter.

I remember when it all started, “hello man, how are you?” and the response would be I am just looking thanks. I was trying so hard to sell a pair of shoes just to meet target, Just to impress my boss. The sad part about it all was that I had no direction; I was looking for something to brake me from that retail horror.  And the moment had finally come. The Hallelujah moment had arrived, that moment where my efforts of studying for seventeen years had come to reward me.

"I could feel it in my blood; I could smell it in the air"

A new Chapter has begun a chapter where I am the communications Science Lecture at a well-recognised private institution. On my first day I knew that I was meant to be here. I could feel it in my blood; I could smell it in the air. The time has come, and all I need to do is to prove what I can do. 

Hello New Chapter, I have arrived…

I am Alive, I am revived.

  

“What is a guy like you, with a B.Tech degree doing in retail?”

In life we are all looking for something, that thing that will make us feel complete. This thing for some people is marriage, or some its money and happiness or success and Education. While we are looking for these element to make our lives feel complete we face hardships, then we tend to forget where we are going.

The question shattered me, even though it was received through a phone call. I will not lie to you, I was not only hit by the brick of truth, I was baptised with the showers of reality. I felt like someone slid a block of ice in my shirt and it went sliding down my spine slowly as I listened to the sound of his breath on the other side of the line. I could not even defend myself; I was guilty of not having a dream, of not having the passion to move up, of not being me, the guy who was always at the top. I was sentenced by a caller. “You need to stand up and give it you 150%, somewhere out there, your dream is waiting for you” That second statement sealed it.  I had to get out of the comfort zone and start pushing and knocking at doors until an answer is given.  

Even though I was alone in that room, I felt so exposed and guilty. I had to do something, I had to dream again, I had to wake up the old me, and that was how I got revived. I am now alive, and I will never lose focus…

IT IS A PAINFUL AFFAIR

When I am home I am happy with my secret
It embraces me and keeps near

In public it confronts me
It hits me. It is hard
Outside it reminds me
It nags me
It irks me
Outside I am an outsider
Outside it reminds me
It stops me from smiling
It says, "weirdo you are not normal. You are not one of us"
It shuts me up
It gags me
It restricts me

The hateful glare of judgment keeps me glued to my secret

At home the walls don't judge
They don't have a look of disdain and disgust about them
They are silent and cold
But my secrets stays close
It spoons with me. It is warm
We have our problems
We fight
Then we remember
I'm nothing without it
 I am a freak without it
That I need to keep it
I embrace it and we make out

It is an opera, isn't it?

I need to tell you
My secret is abusive
It is intrusive
It doesn't want me to have friends
It doesn't want to leave me alone
I don't want it to leave


This poem was written by a close friend Takatso... I see the talent burning inside you, please answer the calling...